I watch as the bleach spreads crystal into the water. It reminds me of oil.

Two gallons.

Steam rises, gaseous clouds of poison in my bathroom. I fight the urge to cough.

Lowering my body slowly, slowly into the solution [solution.]It just feels warm and basey.

I watch as the layers of my skin peel off and float on the surface of the water. [When I was young I had a dream I was near a fountain and there was skin in the water, like thin almost clear strips of skin and I drank it and got it caught in my throat and after that dream I could still feel the disgusting, elasticy feeling of skin stuck in my lungs.]

I feel like a human pudding left in the fridge too long.[do you know what i mean?]

Tendrils of black hair swirl just under the skin like delicate sea urchins.

My nipples turn a pale whitish color while bubbles collect under my arms and elbows and knees.

Stinging clinging. Flesh melting. Living a horror movie.

Will I still feel hands on my hips, holding me in a sad, neurotic embrace? Will I feel arms restraining mine in my sleep so I cannot escape you?

Will I feel you pushing me down, slamming my shoulder and peeling back my underwear?